then you come along, and i cry
by pocari
Summary: Todoroki Shouto, pre-med student, is just trying to get by in his last year of university. Until he meets his new neighbor and feels something warm and funny blooming in his chest. Or, Shouto learns to open his heart and maybe falls in love along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

hello! i'm back and writing on here after almost 5 years, wow! writer's block and the obstacles life throws at you sometimes really sucks, but i've returned and i'm proud of that. i remember being 13, starting to write my fanfics after discovering fanfiction from my then-best friend at my birthday party and it changed my life. i was so inspired to write something, largely for myself because there wasn't enough of my favorite pairings, and it suddenly grew into something amazing i could share with others.

thank you to anyone who is reading this- your view, favoriting, and/or commenting always makes my day and helps me strive to be a better writer :)

i hope you enjoy my first ever tododeku fanfic, which is really just the usual soft boys in love with hurt/comfort and some tender moments in between 3

* * *

"Alright, is that everything?" Momo asks as she drops the last box onto the massive pile of cardboard boxes engulfing the floor of his new apartment.

"Yes- thank you for your help, Momo," Shouto replies, offering her a small smile.

Momo flashes him a bigger smile, dusting off her hands.

"Well if that's everything, I should be heading out to meet Kyouka. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call or text me."

Shouto nods, "Thanks again, Momo."

She's still smiling as she closes the apartment door behind her.

Shouto releases a sigh and looks around his apartment. It's a modest one-bedroom apartment, with a somewhat spacious living room and tiny kitchen in the corner, leading into a hallway to splits to the bedroom and bathroom. Among the many brown boxes containing his belongings and a few suitcases, he has no idea where to start. Or the energy for that matter.

Figuring he might as well go out and walk around while his jacket and shoes are still on, he grabs his keys off the counter and heads out. When he turns around to lock the door, he catches a glimpse of someone else down the hall.

The first thing Shouto registers is the long, green curls that stop at the base of his neck, some curls sticking out from the dark blue beanie covering most of his hair. There's a flash of silver on his ears, one stud on his left ear, three following the curve of his ear on the right. He's tall- maybe an inch or two shorter than Shouto himself, but tall and sturdy with an overall slim figure hugged by a fitted denim jacket and dark faded jeans.

His (handsome) neighbor is fumbling his keys, trying to unlock his apartment, using his free hand to hold a package under his arm, a white convenience store bag looped through the arm jamming the keys into the door's lock.

Maybe Shouto is staring too long because the guy senses his presence, turning to the side to look at him.

The guy eyes him briefly, up and down, before flashing him a grin.

"Hey, I haven't seen you before. Did you just move in?"

Shouto stares before nodding dumbly, averting his gaze to the floor to avoid those sharp green eyes.

Handsome neighbor doesn't seem to notice, or at least not mind because he's still grinning, abandoning his keys to dangle from the lock and take a few steps toward Shouto. He shifts the plastic bag on his arm, extending it to offer a handshake.

"Well, nice to meet you, I'm Midoriya Izuku." The hand is warm and solid.

"Todoroki Shouto. Likewise, Midoriya," Shouto replies as politely as possible, looking away to avoid staring at his neighbor for too long.

Shouto lets go of Midoriya's hand, giving him a curt nod, before heading in the opposite direction toward the exit.

X

The next time Shouto sees his neighbor is at a local cafe, their university's most popular and frequented coffee shop. He's sitting at a smaller table in the corner of the establishment, cupping a mug of black coffee and dully staring at his physiology notebook.

Across from him, Momo is idly typing away on her laptop, occasionally glancing at her phone at the rapid texts Jirou sends her despite being in her musicology lecture.

Shouto is lazily scribbling haphazardous lines with his blue pen when he hears a cheery voice call out, "Midoriya! My dude! You here for the usual?"

And low and behold, the said boy walks into the coffee shop, pulling out his earbuds and grinning at the red-haired barista behind the counter.

Shouto recognizes the curly green hair and dust of freckles as his neighbor chats with the barista. He's wearing white collared shirt and navy sweater, neutral colors that balance out the pale, worn yellow backpack slung over his shoulders.

"Hey Kiri, how are you doing? And yes, the usual please."

"You got it! Anything for you, bro!"

Midoriya sends him a grin and makes quick conversation with Uraraka, another barista working today.

They seem to know each other well, given the way Midoriya casually lounges by the counter and Uraraka beams at him, leaning over the counter to lightly swat him on the arm when he starts laughing at something she says.

Shouto recognizes Uraraka from his many visits to the coffee shop, aside from sharing a few classes with her since she was an astrophysics major and their majors had overlapping classes.

Midoriya laughs again at something Uraraka says, bringing a hand to clasp the back of his neck and Shouto finds himself staring.

When he finally breaks away from looking at Midoriya, Momo is giving him a knowing look, a little too smug for his liking.

"What?"

"You've been staring at that guy for a while. Is he a classmate of yours?" Momo asks, entirely curious, but there's a hint of mirth in her voice.

"He's just my neighbor," Shouto replies, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

"Oh? I'm glad you met someone in the same building. We should say hi!"

And with that, Momo gets up quickly, saying she needs a refill for her drink before Shouto can even express any dissent.

He sees Momo move toward the front where Midoriya still conversing with Uraraka, leaning against the wooden counter while Kirishima finishes his drink.

Shouto wants to look away to save the little dignity he has left before Momo utterly embarrasses him, but he's too invested into the scene that's about to unfold before him.

Momo says something to Uraraka, who smiles and takes her cup. As Uraraka turns back behind the counter, Momo turns to Midoriya, flashing him a dazzling smile and extending her hand to shake his.

They exchange a few words before Midoriya is looking over her shoulder and directly at him, sending a small grin and wave in Shouto's direction.

Shouto waves back, slowly and hesitantly, before clearing his throat and averting his eyes the various study materials on their table.

After Midoriya gets his drink and Uraraka hands Momo her mug, Momo makes her way back to their table, with Midoriya trailing behind.

When Momo gets nearer, Shouto narrows his eyes at her, who simply winks in return as she sits back down.

"Hey Todoroki, it's good to see you! I just thought I'd say hi after meeting your friend. I'm not intruding, am I?"

Shouto glances to see Midoriya smiling at him, all bubbly and happily, and even if he were bothering them, Shouto doesn't think he'd have the heart to tell him so.

"Hello, Midoriya. It's not a bother, just studying a bit before my next class."

Midoriya nods, taking a quick sip of his coffee. "Understandable and very studious of you. I should try to follow your example, haha! What do you study?"

"I'm pre-med, studying biochemistry. What about you?"

Shouto would be lying if he said he was never curious about what Midoriya studied, given his very amicable reputation and easy-going personality. Not to say he stereotyped people, but some people were definitely not studious, and their personality reflected it, like his old roommate, Kaminari.

Shouto gave Kaminari credit before, but that was before he left the toaster on for too long making his frozen pizza and burned down most of their apartment. To make matters worse, their third roommate, Sero, tried to put out the fire by waving towels around instead of calling the fire department.

By the time Shouto got home, their apartment was nearly nonexistent, hence Shouto's sudden and stressful move to his current place. To meeting his new neighbor.

As much as he relatively enjoyed his old roommates, he had no idea how they were still enrolled in university.

"Wow that's impressive, pre-med life is difficult. I'm a double major in literature and history."

"You're pretty impressive yourself," the words are out of Shouto's mouth before he can realize what he's sayingbut Midoriya just laughs, bringing his arm up in an attempt to muffle his laughter.

"Thanks, Todoroki. I appreciate the kind words coming from you." He pauses to glance at his watch before his eyes widen. "I have to run to my next class now, but I'll see you around!"

Midoriya smiles brightly one last time, clapping a hand on Shouto's shoulder. He turns to Momo to add, "And it was really nice meeting you, Yaoyorozu!"

"Likewise, Midoriya," Momo says smiling and Shouto half-heartedly rolls his eyes at her.

Midoriya shouts a quick call goodbye to Kirishima and Uraraka as he heads to the door, slipping out into the pale autumn sun before they can both shout a chorus of goodbyes back.

Shouto sighs and finds Momo staring at him again, who hasn't stopped grinning since she first caught him looking at Midoriya.

"He's pretty impressive right, Shouto?"

Shouto bites in the inside of cheek and breathes out a heartless, "Get lost," before turning back to his notes.

Momo just laughs and they go back to work, killing time before his afternoon lecture and her evening seminar.

Shouto still feels the subtle burning at the back of his neck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **hello! first i want to just say that i'm really sorry to anyone who has been waiting for the next chapter- i got super sick last week and then new years was really busy for me, so i didn't have time to upload anything. that being said, i will be updating this a few times this week because this story is also on AO3 up to chapter 5 and i'd like to make it consistent on both platforms :)

thank you all so much for reading and supporting me! it's definitely always a struggle to manage school, interning, and work on top of taking care of myself and making time for friends & family AND writing, BUT it's a personal goal of mine this year to be more consistent with my writing! i'm aiming on publishing something new every 1-2 months- fingers crossed that i actually do!

* * *

Their third encounter is when Shouto locks himself out. It's been a long day- three hours of a human anatomy lecture, two hours of his cellular biology and another six grueling hours of clinical work at the hospital his mother is admitted to.

It's busy at the hospital, but he's thankful for the opportunity of being able to visit his mom before and during his volunteer shifts, while also getting hours in before he applies to medical school next fall.

But being a student is _exhausting_. On top of keeping up with his classes, volunteering, visiting his mother, and assuring Fuyumi that he is indeed eating and sleeping properly, in addition to making time for his social life, she says. Or at least he's _trying _to.

He's about to text Momo knowing that she has a spare key to his apartment, but decides against it when he remembers it's her anniversary with Jirou and their dinner plans at a fancy restaurant across down. He feels guilty, but also knows Jirou will kick his ass for ruining their dinner plans and make them drive twenty minutes across town to unlock the door to his apartment.

_Yeah, Jirou would definitely kick his ass._

He sits legs crossed on the floor against the door of his apartment, imaging his keys on the corner of his kitchen table, where he left him this morning. He'd completely forgotten about them when he slipped on his shoes, locked his door from the inside, and left for the day. It wasn't until he got to the hospital that he realized he left them after rummaging through his messenger bag in the break room.

He scrolls on his phone for a bit, waiting for either his landlord to respond to his text about whether it's legal for him to break into his own apartment or for Momo to be remotely available to come to his apartment with the spare key.

When it's apparent that he won't be getting a response from either any time soon, he brings his knees to his chest, resting his forehead against his legs. _Man, he was exhausted._

Shouto is half asleep by the time he hears someone coming up the stairs and into the hallway.

He glances up to find Midoriya, signature yellow backpack peeking out from behind his figure, takeout in one hand. Midoriya startles slightly when he sees him and cocks his head to the side.

"Todoroki, what are you doing out here?"

Shouto lifts his face fully and shrugs because what can he really say?

"I got locked out."

He pushes down the minuscule worry that Midoriya doesn't think he's a fool, even though frankly, he's never cared what anyone has thought about him.

Midoriya nods sagely, his eyes closed for a split second as he nods, as if he's experienced the predicament numerous times before.

"That sucks, sorry to hear that. But it's starting to get pretty cold out, so sitting out in the hallway isn't such a good idea." Midoriya seems to contemplate for a moment before he adds, "Do you want to come over to my place? At least until you can figure out how to get back to yours."

Shouto is shunned by the sudden offer, but recovers quickly when he feels the slight ache in his back from sitting on the floor a little too long for his liking. That, and the idea of a warm apartment, _Midoriya's apartment_, is too inviting to not accept.

"I would really appreciate that, Midoriya."

Midoriya just chuckles, "No problem! And if you haven't eaten yet, I picked up Chinese." He holds up the takeout bag and grins excitedly.

And of course, because the universe hates him and needs to embarrass him at any given moment, Shouto's stomach decides then to growl. Loudly. He instinctively places his hands on his stomach and narrows his eyes thinking _traitor_, despite the tiny blush forming on his cheeks.

But Midoriya is laughing -full on laughter with eyes crinkling in the corners and hands wrapped around his torso- that even if it's laughter toward Shouto's misfortune, he can't really bring himself to feel embarrassed.

* * *

Momo eventually comes by his apartment later that night, close to midnight, with a cackling and slightly tipsy Jirou in her tow. Shouto leans against the hallway wall adjacent to Midoriya's apartment door, watching as Momo apologizes and thanks Midoriya on his behalf for sheltering him like he's some stray cat and not a full-grown adult.

Midoriya kindly brushes off her formalities before cordially introducing himself to Jirou, who is all too eager to meet the man Todoroki is smitten with thanks to Momo's unnecessary need to report about his "blooming love life" to her girlfriend.

Shouto is too satiated to really care; full of dumplings and fried rice, remembering the intriguing yet peaceful conversations he had with Midoriya for almost three whole hours.

To his surprise, Shouto actually has a lot in common with Midoriya, from watching the same Youtubers, to enjoying the same music artists and sharing similar tastes in light novels and manga- something not entirely surprising even Midoriya is a history and literature junkie.

Dinner is more animated than both has anticipated, with the two of them discussing their favorite books, exchanging theories on plots and the pros and cons of various characters, all while trading ideas and boxes of Chinese take-out.

He can't really remember the last time he felt comfortable having a conversation with someone, let alone speaking at all, aside from Momo or his sister, Fuyumi, for more than several minutes.

Yet, time somehow flies with Midoriya, his air and demeanor warm and gentle.

In his own way, he's gentle and familiar and even when he's exhausted from a long day of classes and volunteering and excess socializing, Shouto feels the days weariness melt from his body.

It's rejuvenating and he doesn't want it to _stop_. He doesn't remember the last time he wanted to stop talking to someone.

It's a foreign feeling that brews in his being but he doesn't push it away, the warmness only growing when they say their final goodbyes and Midoriya slips a spare key into Shouto's palm.

"Just in case you ever get locked out again! Or if you never need anything, my door is always open for you, Todoroki." His lips quirk up into a nervous smile, but his voice is genuine.

Shouto feels his own lips tugging at the corners. "Thank you for the offer, Midoriya. Perhaps I'll take you up on the offer sometime."

He waves at Midoriya before heading down the hall to his own apartment. After a mini lecture from Momo about being more responsible and a few light jabs from Jirou, they bid him goodnight and Shouto collapses on the couch, lifting one arm to cover his eyes.

He sighs, remembering that he has an assignment due tomorrow for his anatomy class, and he's scheduled to volunteer at the hospital again first thing in the morning, but rather than feeling stressed, he finds himself oddly looking forward to it.

He pulls out Midoriya's spare key from his pocket and holds it above him, turning it around his fingers.

Shouto closes his eyes, his last thoughts on his night with Midoriya- the timber of his voice, the way his hair curls at the base of his neck, the hue of his eyes matching forest moss. The weight of the golden key in his hand anchors him to soft sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

In the week following his lock-out incident, Shouto finds himself at Midoriya's apartment more frequently.

Whether he's studying on Midoriya's couch while they do homework together or he's just visiting for dinner when Midoriya insists he's made "enough katsudon for the week," Shouto finds himself at Midoriya's apartment somehow.

Rather than feeling like he's freeloading or intruding, Shouto feels idly at home, drawn to Midoriya like an eager moth to the flame.

It's in his visits that he learns more about Midoriya- the way he hums English songs softly under his breath while he cooks dinner, how Midoriya pins his bangs back when he studies, the slight huffs he occasionally makes when he's working on a tedious assignment or reading.

Shouto notes all these little details, the ordinary miniscule things about Midoriya that maybe no one else knows. He hopes only he notices. The moments that seem to belong to him only, somehow in the domestic bubble of peace they share.

There's one thing about Midoriya that does surprise Shouto- Midoriya smokes.

One night while Shouto is on his usual spot, leaning against the couch with his notes sprawled around him, he stares at Midoriya's frame on the patio.

Midoriya's back to him, slouched as he leans his weight against the railing. His silhouette is hazily outlined by the lights from inside the apartment, contrasting the orange embers of his cigarette and the smoke dancing around his figure like shadows.

He doesn't know what overcomes him or maybe he does, because he's always been awkward and unsociable, but as soon as Midoriya slides the glass door open, he blurts out, "Why do you smoke?"

Midoriya pauses from where he's sliding into his slippers, glancing up to look at Shouto from the couch.

He scratches the back of his head and chuckles nervously, "Old habits die hard, I guess?"

Shouto must be looking at him like he can tell that isn't the real answer because Midoriya drops his hand and starts making his way over to the couch.

He sits across from Shouto on the floor, dumping his cigarette pack on the coffee table between them. He eyes it for a moment before looking at Shouto and sighs tiredly.

"Well, it's kind of a long story, and a really stupid story." He idly plays with his fingers and looks directly at Shouto. "But I don't mind sharing if you don't mind listening."

Shouto moves his notes aside and nods. "You don't have to share something you're not comfortable sharing, Midoriya." He pauses, choosing his words carefully, "But I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it."

Midoriya nods back and smiles somberly. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair before starting.

"To be blunt, I was bullied my whole life. For as long as I could remember, since elementary school, kids always picked on me. Because I was too scared, too scrawny, too nerdy. By high school, I was at a really big low. But my homeroom teacher, Aizawa, he really helped me."

Hearing Midoriya's voice, his retelling of his bullying, Shoto feels anger heating in his chest.

At first he thinks he's angry at the thought of Midoriya getting bullied, stupid kids picking on someone _as amazing and competent and kind as Midoriya._

But really, he's outraged by the fact that Midoriya of all people, was bullied because he wasn't _enough _of something.

Because in reality, in the short time he's known him, Midoriya is _more than enough of anything. _And he probably has always been. Kind, selfless, caring, quirky, intelligent, funny. Something hurts in Shouto's chest for anyone to have thought less than that.

Midoriya's voice gets quieter and softer, so Shouto reaches over to place his hand on his arm. Midoriya smiles weakly at him before continuing.

"Aizawa-sensei really got me out of that dark place, you know? He confronted kids that would tease or hit me and probably because he was so scary, it stopped. Aside from ending the tormenting, he acknowledged me as a good student, but also told me to believe in myself- that my current circumstances didn't define me or define where I could be."

Shouto nods, squeezing Midoriya's arm lightly. "He sounds like a good man."

Midoriya laughs lightly, "Yeah, he is. He's super strict and rough around the edges, but deep down he really cares for his students. He was always smoking- at school, whenever I visited his place after graduating, when he was walking home."

"And so you just kind of picked it up, something that reminds you of him," Shouto says, understanding fully from his own experiences with his mom.

Midoriya nods again, "Yup, it just sort of happened. I wouldn't say I'm a chronic smoker or anything, but I guess when I'm stressed or I miss home and I try to remember Aizawa-sensei's advice…" He pauses and lowers his eyes to Shouto's hand on his bicep. "It keeps me grounded, if that makes sense."

They sit in silence for a bit, Shouto's hand still gently squeezing Midoriya's arm every now and then.

"Hey, Todoroki?" Midoriya calls out hesitantly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for listening. And for being here."

The hand on Midoriya's arm tightens and Shouto clears his throat. "Anytime, you don't need to thank me, Midoriya."

"Izuku- call me Izuku. It's what most of my friends call me and I think we're close enough to definitely be friends by now, don't you?"

He's joking, but Shouto feels the weight of his words- Izuku's words- and it humbles him to know the Izuku trusts him. Enough to share something painful and vulnerable about himself.

And Shouto thinks, but mostly hopes that in time, he can share painful yet meaningful things with him too.

"Izuku then," Shouto says, drawing the words slowly on his tongue. "But in return, call me Shouto."

"Okay. Shouto." Midoriya smiles and something warm and tight erupts in Shouto's chest hearing Izuku say his name.

"And Izuku?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you'll try to stop, at least. Smoking, I mean. It's not entirely healthy for you."

Izuku stares at him dumbly for a second, before bursting into laughter, but this time it's a genuine, amused laugh.

"Okay, I will. Doctor's orders, right?"

"Not a doctor yet," Shouto mumbles, but he's smiling softly too, encased in the warmth of the apartment, Izuku's cheeky grins, and the touch of his hand still resting on Izuku's arm, not letting go.

Not letting go just quite yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Hi! I'm finally catching up on this and I will be updating as frequently as I can; there are 2 more chapters after this so I anticipate this story will be finished by mid next week for those of you following this!

Another thing that I don't think I mentioned yet is that the title of this story is part of the lyrics of Tuesday's verse from the song "The Loneliest Girl" from Carole and Tuesday! It's such a beautiful song and a really good anime; I'm a huge fan of the soundtrack, so I recommend checking it out!

As always, thank you for reading & apologies for any typos or formatting errors- it be like that sometimes!

* * *

Shouto has always known that he lived in a nice house and his dad more than adequately provided the necessities (minus love and being a caring father) that came with making a wealthy sum of money, but he was never at _home. _

Home was taken from him early on when his father beat his mom, separated him from his siblings, the abuse and trauma driving his mom mentally unstable enough swing the tea kettle toward him, head-first and scalding the skin around his eye, leaving him numb for days.

When he first moved in with Sero and Kaminari during his first year of university, it was a change a pace. Amicable conversation, endless banter, dumb joking, half-eaten snacks lying around the living room, random articles of clothing scattered across the apartment.

He wasn't picky about the details- just somewhere relatively close to campus, affordable rent, roommates that weren't (entirely) crazy, but most importantly, roommates that never asked _why. _About him, his past, anything in his personal life.

A place to come back to when school and work was over to shower and sleep. The small-talk and friendly roommates were a nice bonus, that was all he needed.

But in his new apartment, Shouto is rarely there, except to shower, change his clothes, and occasionally sleep.

Because these days, he's more familiar with Izuku's couch or the fluffy plush rug in the living room than his own bed.

Those are his first thoughts when he wakes up one morning, most likely around dawn, because the sky is still a swirl of blues and grays speckled with the inklings of a winter sun's rays.

Shouto blinks blearily, vaguely registering that he's fallen asleep on the couch, Izuku's spare comforter draped over him. The air smells smoky and sweet and through his disheveled hair, he peers at Izuku in the kitchen, under the faint light of the stove, frying eggs. He hears the coffee machine brewing and smells the sugary freshness of milk bread in the toaster.

He can see the span of his shoulders through his tight athletic shirt and small hand towel draped over his shoulders, indicating Izuku must have already returned from his morning run. He's humming softly, calming flipping eggs with a rubber spatula, turning pop the switch of the toaster off before pulling jam out of the fridge- strawberry jam. Shouto's favorite flavor and brand.

Just when Izuku slides the eggs onto two plates, he catches Shouto's mismatched, half-lidded eyes from the couch. He stops humming but smiles cheerfully, "Rise and shine, sleepyhead."

Shouto groans and buries his face back into the comforter, taking in the faint twinkling of Izuku's laughter mixing with the warm smell of breakfast and morning frost from the window ajar in Izuku's room.

He curls himself into the comforter more, breathing into it, a small smile forming on his lips as he drifts back asleep.

* * *

But because the universe hates him, as usual, there's a reason why we can't have nice things in life, Shouto gets a call from his dad. And it ruins his day.

He considers not answering for a moment, but reluctantly answers, realizing the burden thrown onto Fuyumi if he blatantly ignores his father and he harasses her.

He knows his father wouldn't dare harm his sister, at least not physically, but that didn't mean he wouldn't belittle or make her shed a few tears.

The thought of Fuyumi being any more distressed over him makes his stomach churn guilty.

"Hello?"

"Shouto. Have you finally decided to come to your senses and switch majors like I told you to?" His father's tone was curt and rough, and if Shouto didn't know him well enough, he'd say he was angry; he wasn't, not yet at least.

Todoroki Enji, one of Japan's most prominent among the upper echelons of the business world and rising politician for the upcoming cabinet elections. A man of conquest and ruthlessness, but his undeniable success toward Japan's economy was unanimously well-known that most couldn't deny that he was good at what did, even with his strict and unorthodox ways.

Shouto didn't think that excused from being a jackass. _Or a trashy, sorry excuse for a father for that matter. _

"No, I haven't. I'm already in my last year of university, it's impossible to switch even if I wanted to," Shouto responds curtly, swallowing back the venom in his throat.

"I don't care what you want. How many times do I have to tell you that you're going to be the next heir to the company, and I didn't send you to a top university for you to waste time."

"And how many times do I have to tell you I have no interest in inheriting your company?" Shouto bites back, feeling the anger bubbling within him. He clenches his phone tighter to pitiful effort to control his temper.

"You listen to me, boy. You better stop playing your games and become serious about your future," Enji growls lowly. "I'm the one funding your education. Don't test my patience or I won't hesitate to cut your finances, or from your sister for that matter."

"Leave Fuyumi out of this," Shouto snaps. "She has nothing to do with what I'm doing at school."

"You don't tell me what to do, boy. An ungrateful, spoiled brat like you doesn't have a say in anything and you will listen to me, lest you want to be a failure like your siblings. Quit this tantrum and quit being a disappointment."

And with that Enji hangs up, leaving Shouto with a raw anger that burns hard enough to make him feel numb.

The rest of his day goes by in a blur- he blankly sits in his classes, physically there, but the drumming in his ears is so loud he doesn't take any notes or pay any heed to what his professors are saying. He tries to funnel his anger throughout the day, churning it out, but something rotten and acidic hangs over him that he can't shake off. After sending a hasty text to his supervisor at the hospital saying he won't be able to make it for his shift, he aims to head home.

He's too lost in his thoughts, too absorbed in his resentment toward his father, pangs of guilt and sadness for his mother, his own self-loathing of himself that he walks too far on his way back, passing the street of his apartment.

By the time he realizes he's past his stop, he doesn't know where he's going, nor does he care. His head hurts and he tries walking it off, to ease the numbing in his chest and the pulsating thump in his head that his previous anger left in its wake.

The sun is done setting by the time he sits on a half-frozen bench in an unfamiliar park, a frost encased lamp post blinking eerily as a light snow begins to fall from the sky.

Shouto doesn't know how long he sits there, body trembling slightly from the growing cold, dirty snow piling by his feet.

He's startled when he feels something heavy and thick being draped across his shoulders. He slowly looks up to find Izuku staring at him incredulously, breathing hard as if he'd just been running, the exhale of his lungs creating a loom of white tendrils in the night air.

His hair is tousled all to one side and the tip of his nose is pink, eliminating the golden color of his freckles across his cheeks. Shouto can see his collarbone through the thin long sleeve he's wearing, the goosebumps forming along his neck as a shiver racks through his shoulders, snow falling harder around them.

_It's like a scene from a storybook_, Shouto thinks. Like a brave knight searching for the lost prince in the snow, through a dark and dreary forest.

Until he's hit with a pang of guilt when he realizes Izuku is in front of him, running out in the cold because of him. _Looking_ for him. Maybe even _worried_ for him. And now using his jacket in an attempt to ensure Shouto isn't the one catching a cold from the chilly weather.

"Shouto, are you okay? I got a call from an unknown number and it turned out to be your sister. She said she spoke to your dad and hasn't heard from you all day, so she got worried and wanted me to check on you," Izuku says quickly before adding, "Good thing your phone was still sharing your location, or I wouldn't have known you were here."

Shouto slips his phone out of his pocket and scans the notifications- four missed calls from Fuyumi, three from Izuku, and a string of texts from the two of them, in addition to a message from his father and supervisor at the hospital. He sighs and slides his phone back into his jeans.

Izuku opens his mouth as if he's about to say more, but decides against it, closing his mouth. He sighs, one that sounds more relieved than anything, and settles on giving him a crooked smile. "Come on, let's go home."

He grabs Shouto's hand and helps him up, pulling the jacket tighter around him before turning around and leading them home.

Shouto noses the jacket, breathing into it. It smells Izuku- like pine, cinnamon, and faintly, lingering cigarette ash. He brings the jacket up higher around his neck.

He trails behind him wordlessly as they walk home. _His hand is cold,_ Shouto notes absently, but Izuku keeps his grip firmly, and he never lets go the entire way back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** hello! it's been a while since i've updated because school and work have been pretty busy for me lately, but i found some time to upload at least this chapter before the onslaught of exams comes my way. apologies now for any typos since i was in a rush and didn't really look over everything as much as i usually do, but nonetheless, please enjoy. hugs always for the support! 3

* * *

As soon as they get back to the apartment, Izuku ushers Shouto to the couch and then goes to fetch him a change of clothes and make some tea.

After Shouto's changed, bundled up with several layers and a steaming mug cupped between his hands, Izuku sits next to him, nursing his own cup.

They sit close enough for their shoulders to touch, thighs brushed against each other. Shouto relishes the warmth, leaning in further to slowly lay his head against Izuku's shoulder.

The movement makes Izuku abruptly still. Worried he's made him uncomfortable, going too far into his personal space, Shouto is about to pull away when Izuku scooches himself closer. He adjusts his body, giving Shouto more access to lean comfortably against his side and fully rest his head on his shoulder.

They go without exchanging any words, quiet aside from their breathing and the low hum of the radiator tucked in the corner of the living room.

Shouto knows Izuku isn't pressing him for an explanation or any reason about tonight, but he still feels like he should offer something one. Because it's Izuku, who has been nothing but kind to Shouto and a reason is the least he deserves from him.

"Izuku, do you ever feel like you're broken? Like you're missing something?"

It's a sudden, if not somewhat ominous question, he knows, but if Izuku's taken aback by it, he doesn't show it.

Izuku hums thoughtfully before responding, "I don't know if I feel that way now, but I used to for sure. All the time."

"Why did you feel that way?"

"I guess," Izuku shrugs a bit. "I told you how I was bullied. Sometimes, it really got to me. And I hated myself for it."

Shouto sucks his breath, something aching at traces of hurt in Izuku's voice, but he continues before Shouto can say anything.

"I don't know if I hated myself because I believed all those things they said about me," he whispers. "Or if I hated myself because I let what they said get to me. Or both. They say that no one can make you feel inferior unless let them, but sometimes, they get through you. We're only human after all, and there's only so much we can take sometimes."

"I don't know what those jerks said you to, but you and I both know how strong you are for putting up with that treatment. You're better than them, because you never stooped as low as them," Shouto says in a voice so confident, Izuku can't argue even if he wanted to.

Izuku leans back against the couch and they lock eyes. His eyes are warm, the green in them so soft and shiny, like glossy melted wax.

"Why do I get the feeling that you would have pummeled my bullies to the ground?" Izuku asks, teasingly, but his voice is fond.

"You know damn right I would have," Shouto confirms.

"Nice to know you have my back," Izuku huffs with amusement, before his tone becomes serious. "But you know, one thing that made things bearable was when I met my mentor, Yagi Toshinori. He was a retired, well-known novelist living in my neighborhood. I happened to meet him on my way home the summer right before I started high school. He was the one who encouraged me to pursue literature in college when he found out I had a knack for writing."

"What was he like?"

"I really admired him, even before I met him in person. He wrote a bunch of books, but my favorite was his book series about people born with superpowers, learning to become future heroes. He was a good writer, but for me, I really resonated with the main protagonist and his backstory. He was pretty much a loser, but he worked hard to be a hero, even though he was born without any powers. It really inspired me to also work hard, to improve myself. To be better." Izuku's voice gets softer. "Sensei always believed in me from the start, even when I couldn't believe in myself."

"But he was sick, some complications with his stomach and liver. He passed away during my last year of high school," Izuku says in a wavering voice, eyes misty.

"I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm sure he would be proud of you, regardless if you follow his footsteps at becoming a writer," Shouto says gently, hoping to provide some sense of reassurance, even if he knows he sucks at comforting others.

Izuku smiles sadly. "I know. I wish I could thank him because it's largely due to him that I'm who I am today. He taught me to really improve on myself, to be brave even if we're scared of change. To not run away from myself or my problems."

Shouto feels himself pause at those words, thinking about the words he's just said. "Is there anything now that you're scared of? That makes you want to run away?"

He sees Izuku swallow. "Yeah, there is. But lately, I don't think I want to run away from how I feel anymore."

Shouto feels him shift and something warm grabbing his hand. He looks at his lap and sees Izuku's hand, lightly holding onto his fingers.

"I think I like you, Shouto." Izuku confesses and suddenly the air between them feels too hot and suffocating.

Shouto feels his heart rate accelerate, shock and adrenaline rushing through him. Immediately, something akin to panic seeps into his veins, making the blood rushing through him icy. It's like an invisible hand circling around his neck, squeezing tightly and he can't get the air to leave his lungs right. His thoughts are racing with a multitude of emotions. _Izuku likes me? He can't possibly like me. No way. Never. _

For a second he wonders if he heard wrong, but Izuku is looking at him expectantly, awaiting a response from him. There's something that glimmers in his eyes- hope, maybe- mixed with an anxiousness that wasn't there previously.

Shouto places his tea on the coffee table and stands abruptly, rapidly shoving the blankets and startling Izuku enough that he almost spills his tea on himself.

"Thank you for everything Izuku, but I have to go," Shouto says in a frenzy, already swooping down to grab his bag and heading to the door.

Izuku is still seated on the couch, looking up at him, concerned and confused. The hurt is evident all over his face. Just staring at his face _hurts_.

"Wait, Shouto! I didn't mean to upset you or make you uncomfortable," he starts, but Shouto is already opening the door.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine. I'll see you around."

And with that he shuts the door behind him, leaving Izuku's apartment and resisting the urge to sprint entirely down the hall to his own apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door to his apartment, he slams the door shut and sinks down to the floor, propping his head on his knees, tucking them against his chest. He feels the burning behind his eyes, closing them and willing everything away because he's _really _messed everything up this time. He sits there alone, shrouded by the cold darkness of his apartment, shame overflowing him.

* * *

Shouto spends the next few days devoid of much emotion, just trying to get by the long winter hours. He's practically on autopilot coursing through school, the hospital, and home, barely squeezing in meals and sleep when he can. He also avoids Izuku as much as possible, rushing in and out of the apartment to minimize the risk of bumping into him, all while feeling stupid and ashamed doing so.

Shouto feels like a _fool_ of all things, knowing it's well beneath him to be immature enough as to avoid Izuku, especially when he's the one who barged out of _his _apartment, dramatically and with no explanation. He knows that he owes Izuku an apology, rightfully so, but thinking about seeing Izuku makes his throat tighten and he just _can't. _Not now at least. He needs time. Time for what, he doesn't know, but all he knows for sure is that he can't face Izuku right now.

It isn't until later, the fourth day he hasn't seen Izuku since his disappearing act, that he encounters into Uraraka at the university's cafe does he feel reality crashing down on him again.

"Oh! Todoroki, right? Are you here for your usual?" she asks sunnily the moment she sees him at the counter, but her demeanor is a little too up-beat for him to handle right now.

Shouto nods silently, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. He grabs his wallet, but as soon as he's about to slide his card on the machine, Uraraka shakes her head and smiles. "It's on me today!"

Shouto blinks, taken aback by the generosity. "Oh. Thank you."

Uraraka smiles. "Any friend of Izuku's is a friend of mine," she says earnestly.

Shouto's throat clenches at the mention of Izuku and he nods quickly before averting his gaze tugging at the stray thread of his sweater while he waits for his drink. His consciousness has been nagging him a lot within the past few days and he has no idea what to do about his situation with Izuku. He debates it in his head before deciding to say something.

"About Izuku...I think I did something wrong the other day and I think I hurt him," he mumbles, not meeting her expression as he says it.

He doesn't _think_ he hurt him. He _knows_ he hurt him, and the thought makes his heart heavy with guilt all over again.

He's still looking to the side, but he hears Uraraka hum in understanding. It's quiet for a moment, save for the whirling of the coffee machine, distant chatter among seated patrons, and the light melody of elegant classical music filling the store in the background.

Uraraka is steaming the milk when she says softly, "Izuku isn't the type of person to hold grudges."

When Shouto doesn't add anything, she presses on. "He's one of my best friends, so I'm not just saying that. He's been through a lot, but he's a good person and among other things, he's one of the most kind and caring people out there. And I know he only thinks highly of you; he's mentioned you a few times when we've hung out. I don't think he's the type of guy to hate you for not returning his feelings."

Shouto looks up then to meet her eyes and she's smiling at him knowingly.

"I-," Shouto tries to start, but Uraraka cuts him off by handing him his coffee.

"You don't need to explain to me, Todoroki. Just talk it out with him, he'll listen. Everything after will work itself out" she says reassuringly before winking at him and going to help another customer.

Todoroki doesn't get a chance to thank her. He stands there for a moment longer, pondering over her words, before taking a deep breath and seeing himself out.


End file.
